Please be sure to check out Ben's post below this. I didn't want to take away from his post.
Leah passed away a year ago today. She was the best friend I’ve
ever had and her friendship changed my life. I am blessed to have many wonderful, supportive, close friends, but Leah stands out. I recently and inadvertently
learned that astrologically we saw the world in much the same way and I don’t
know what I believe, but that feels right and nice.
She was the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met and I
always told her this. She’d go out of her way for people even when she didn’t know
them very well. This was how she worked her way into my heart. After only
knowing her a couple months and she met my former, unfavorable boyfriend, she discreetly
organized a monthly girls group so that I might be surrounded by love and supportive
strong women should I decide one day that I deserved more than what I was
getting in my relationship. She only confessed her intentions years later after
I had done just that and after we had cemented our friendship, then the puzzle
pieces of those get togethers all made
sense.
People’s birthdays were important to her – or rather I
should say that celebrating a person was important to her and birthdays were the
perfect excuse to make someone feel special. She organized all the birthdays at
work, and I know she was just as diligent for friends and family. Even while
she was going through chemotherapy and feeling miserable, she would remember birthdays,
and ask for a friend’s latest news and feel empathy even when it was small in
comparison to her own struggles, and she would see to it that everyone felt
comfortable when they visited with her even though it was a difficult time.
She had a hearty, genuine, contagious laugh and she always
had a funny story to share. She could turn a simple grocery store trip into a
story that would have me throwing back my head to laugh. The stories about her
kids were the best. She always had a glimmer in her eye when talking about
them. Even during the darkest moments towards the end, she would light up
whenever Elly or Drew entered the room. She was an amazing mom and so in love with
her kids.
She loved her family so much and would talk about them to
the point where you felt like you already knew all the best things about them before
you even met them. I love how a friend summed up how Leah put it all
out there: “This is who I am and this is my family. Here it is.” Leah made
everyone feel included and she opened up to me and let me into her family. It
has been a privilege to know such wonderful people and see the supportive,
loving network they wove when a family member was in need.
Leah liked peppers and onions on her pizza. I don’t know
why, but this is important to me and I can’t have a bell pepper without
thinking about her. And as odd as it sounds, same deal with flossing my teeth
probably because I saw her floss her teeth every single night for as long as
she physically could. If it were me, flossing would probably have been one of
the first things I stopped doing, haha.
It was easier to be with her than to not be with her. I was
able to come over and help care for Leah frequently during the 2.5 years after
her diagnosis and she was so easy to care for because she was so grateful and
graceful. Her mom and primary caretaker summed it up perfectly today , and I couldn’t
agree more. “I kept expecting her to rage at the injustice of it all, to say “why
me?”, or just to break down and scream or cry. She never did any of those
things. She never got difficult to care for or to please and she was always
grateful. She would weep quietly at times, especially after holding one of the
kids. She continued to live and plan things as long as she was able. Leah had
the combination of being strong and continuing to live, but also accepting her
death.” Everyone is different and handles things differently and it's not right or wrong, but i particularly admired Leah's style in this regard.
It’s taken me a year, numerous drafts , deletions, tears,
and giving up, to finally post this. It’s no where near as perfect as I
envisioned or wanted it to be to honor her memory. And there is so much that
could have been said. But I hope it is a good glimpse.
