side effects

I of course am praying that the alternative method i'm trying will be successful and will make my tumors shrink.  While I am not getting chemo I am thoroughly enjoying not having the following side effects, although there are some that never seemed to go away from last year when I had chemo.  Unfortunately there are so many more, and there are ones that will appear late in life or never go away.

Side Effects from my chemo, avastin and anti-nausea drugs:

bloody noses
headaches
brittle nails splitting and making fingers bleed
fatigue
nausea
vomiting
chills
weight gain
super sensitive gums and teeth
super sensitive to sun exposure
diarrhea
constipation
neuropathy
bladders spams and bladder sensitivity and pain
mouth sores
insomnia
intestinal cramping
hair loss and thinning

I really feel like I am truly able to enjoy life this past week.  I don't have the upcoming doom of my chemo treatment and I don't have to not make plans for a whole week while i'm not feeling well.  I am running and feeling really good, it's so nice to not have at least a few of the side effects from the poison!

Time to try something!

The drs visit actually couldn't have gone any better if you ask me!  She was fully supportive of "taking a break" from chemo and said that its a reasonable decision right now.  We didn't define what a break meant I think we are just going to see how it goes.  I will see her again in month to get tumor markers measured and get examined.  The dr even said that she is trained to work with chemo and that some of the other alternatives have been out there for a while, longer than chemo and that there could be some validity to them.

To top it off the scan showed no growth.  I know what I feel and I feel like I know my body. I am glad about the results but also a little concerned.

We have decided on an alternative method but I don't feel comfortable sharing it on the blog.  As things progress if it does indeed work I am sure I will be happy to share!!
Thanks for all your support, we are so happy the dr is being supportive as well!  My prayers were answered on that one!

the waiting game

So I had my scan today.  I unfortunately in the past few weeks have started to feel my tumors again.  The ones on my sides that prevented me from being able to sleep in a bed for months are starting to hurt again and I can now feel them and they had shrunk so much that I couldn't feel them.  The worst is that I notice it when holding my kids, having them press against my abdomen is painful and it's starting to be painful enough that I can't pick them up.  This makes me sad for so many reasons.

I will call tomorrow to get results although they are horrible at returning phone calls at my drs office so I have a feeling I will just have to wait until my appointment on monday to find out.  The thing is, I know it must show that there is growth, because I can feel the growth!  I am interested in what the Dr will say though.  I wonder if she will think this is from the long break I had when I went to Arizona, I haven't had a scan since then.  I know it's not from eliminating the drug last time because at that point I could already feel the tumors growing.  I am also curious what her suggestions of treatment will be.  There is one other chemo that is the 3rd line of defense (I have already been on the first line and the one i'm on now is the 2nd line)  The 3rd line of defense has an average of working for about 6 weeks, so that is not very promising.

It has been a rough week full of making decisions and dealing with old pains again from my tumors.  Still researching alternative methods.,

Humph

So I certainly felt better without the irinotican but not great.  After my pump came off I was nauseas for days after.  It wAsnt as bad of nausea but still it is awful bein even a little nauseas.  I am not as optimistic about continuing the treatment now.  I am seriously looking into alternative therapies.  I know that after this chemo stops working the only options are clinical trials and I am about done putting chemicals in my body!  I am praying hard on this decision as I have a scan Thursday and depending on the results the decision might be made for me.  I feel like I can't die without having tried everything I can get my hands on and why not start now.   We all know the chemo will never cure me it is just prolonging my life.  I need to find something that is a cure!

better chemo

So the Nurse Practictioner had no problem eliminating the irinotican.  I am a little nauseas but for once I feel like the antinausea medication is working to help with that so that is awesome.  I am also not in bed and was able to eat breafkast out of bed and haven't gone back since I got up!

I hope to continue to feel good, I feel like if I'm doing ok now it won't get worse.  I had a good friend take me to chemo for the first time, my husband was unable to go because of a work meeting.  We actually had some fun, being able to overhear your chemo neighbor can definitely be interesting!  And watching shows with a good friend is not something I get to do often.  Thanks for taking me Celine!  And thanks to our other neighbor Dawn for watching Celine's daughter so that she could take me!  Good neighbors and good friends are what make everything doable!  And of course family, Bryans mom is out to help since my mom went home for a while, so we couldn't do this without Grandma!

chemo tomorrow

I didn't receive chemo yesterday because I had a parent orientation for my daughter going to kindergarten next year.  Because dana farber is so awful and busy they couldn't get me in until wednesday.  So I will hope to be reporting shortly after tomorrow about how good I feel because I didn't get the irinotican!  Let's pray on that one!