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Friday, February 13, 2015

heavy heart

I was admitted to Mass General Hospital Monday by ambulance, from Newport.  It was believed to be a heart attack of some sort, caused by the trial drugs, but that since has been all  resolved and they are back to focusing on the cancer.  Scans they did focusing on the mild heart attach revealed significat growth in my liver which is very enlarged and increased tumors growth, and is causing me a great deal of pain.  They finally drarined off 1 liter of fluid from my adomen which did not prove to be of much increased comfort.

This is all after spending 24 hours in the ER at Mass General, before being admitted to a very nice room.  At this point I still need to have one more meeting with my oncologist but it is my understanding, that I have very limited options.  I have been kicked off the trial due to the tumors growth.  Of course chemo always seems to be something they offer but nothing is changing, the fight is still the same.  The fight for me is to enjoy quality of life.

At this time they are working on pain management, as I am in a lot of pain.  I will not be released from the hospital until they believe my pain can be managed at home.  The goal at this time is to focus on being comfortable one day at a time.

11 comments:

  1. Leah..you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that they find a way to get you comfortable to so you can go home and be with your family!!

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  2. tears in my eyes...prayers for you and your family...so difficult for everyone of you..

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  3. OH MY GOODNESS, LEAH :(
    I am shocked and sad and just want to hug you. I am so sorry to hear this :(
    I hope they can find pain management for you and know that I love you and you are in my prayers.
    Love, Brenna

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  4. I love you Leah! Praying that you feel some sort of comfort soon and that you can come home!

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  5. I love you Leah - you are amazing - know that you are loved by many!

    Love, Doreen

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  6. Thinking of you Leah and sending tons of positive thoughts and energy your way.

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  8. I hope you can find some comfort soon Leah. I am sending all my positive thoughts, love and hugs to you and the fam. Love, Kate

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  9. Dear "dear" Leah and family,
    Hugs and our love to all of you, and whatever we can do...

    Judy, Drew, Hadley and Paige

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  10. My b heat breaks when i hear your in pain. I pray right now Leah for you. Jesus please help Leah with pain se she can go home to family and friends. God Bless her at this time. She loves you so dearly. In Jesus name i pray. Love ya sister.

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  11. I thought of you today on my way home from work. I was on my way to the grocery store to pick up dinner and thought that I should text or call you, you were on my mind. I didn't however because I wanted to be up to date on things and I hadn't read your blog in a few days. I cried tonight, thinking of my college roommate, someone my age, with children my age going through the unthinkable. I cried because in my mind, of course, we never age, you are still 20, and we walk to the snack crack on weekends for Ben N Jerry's. In my mind, you are my super strong, goofy friend who talks with me every night until we fall asleep on our bed lofted on cinder blocks. You are my friend I visited on my honeymoon! My friend I visited again and picked wild blueberries and ate ice cream cones with down town, who sat next to me while I ate amazing sea food even though you hate it! :) You are my friend, who now has children and a beautiful like in RI. My friend who is going through something that sucks. Something that is not fair, something that isn't right. And I want you to know, even though through all of this, you have been the bravest person I know, but you don't have to be brave all the time. It's okay to cry, to be mad and pound your fist. It's okay to be scared. But, know this. No matter how you feel, what you post and where you are, you are LOVED by soooo many people. You and your family are being prayed for by sooo many people. I will always love you friend, I will always be here, in CO praying for a good day. Praying for joy in your life, praying for comfort, peace and healing. Praying, that against all odds, you beat this.
    -ande

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