Sharing Memories

I am posting on behalf of Leah’s family as they are going through this difficult time. They want to express their deepest appreciation for all the kindness and support they have received from everyone this past week. They are so grateful to have such wonderful people showing their love and respect for Leah, and those closest to her.

One of the hardest things when grieving is the fear of losing the memories. For myself, Leah was my best friend and every hour and every day that passes is bittersweet because it means I’m a little further from the days when Leah was physically on this earth and in my life. I want to hold on to everything that was Leah.

Bryan had the great idea to encourage people to share memories here on Leah’s blog. This could help someone who has a memory they don’t want to lose, and is also healing for Leah’s family who can learn of new memories that will be preserved in this blog.

So please do so whenever you are comfortable! You may leave a blog comment, or send an email and I will create new blog posts. It can be a couple sentences, or multiple pages and it doesn’t have to be a one-time-only if you find you have more to say as time goes on. If you’d like to share pictures, please send an email since I don’t think pictures can be added to blog comments. If you’d like to email a memory to just share privately with the family, please indicate that in the email so we don’t post it.

Leah has cultivated a healing community on this blog and I hope everyone can feel comfortable expressing what is important on it. Sharing can be difficult, but it is so important.

Send emails to: leahshealingjourney@gmail.com

Comment wherever on this blog.

And please check back often to read what others have shared and continue the legacy Leah started.

Services

http://oneillhayes.com/tribute/details/860/Leah_Catherine_Ploutz/obituary.html#tribute-start

Calling Hours / Wake
4:00 - 8:00 p m Thursday March 26
O'Neill-Hayes Funeral Home

465 Spring Street

Newport, Rhode Island, United States

02840
on-street parking

Memorial Service

10:30 am - 2:00 pm Friday, March 27, 2015

Atlantic Beach Club on the 2nd floor

55 Purgatory Road

Middletown, Rhode Island, United States

02842
overflow parking at Easton's Beach

The agenda for the memorial service will be roughly as follows (to the best of my knowledge right now):

10:30 - 11:20 - service by Pastor Mike from Fall River Church of Christ

Break for coffee & danishes & slideshow of Leah's pictures

Then we encourage people to share their memories of Leah for all to hear at this time

Calling Hours

4:00 pm - 8:00 pm Thursday, March 26, 2015

O'Neill-Hayes Funeral Home

465 Spring Street

Newport, Rhode Island, United States

02840

- See more at: http://oneillhayes.com/tribute/details/860/Leah_Ploutz/service-information.html#content-start

Leah's article

Leah found courage reading the stories of others and wanted her story to be shared. The article below was published yesterday morning in the local newspaper and she was able to see it before she passed away that evening.

The newspaper image may not be easy to read for some so the text is included at the bottom. 

 ‘She is our hero’

Leah Ploutz of Portsmouth, a mother of two young children, has touched many lives and inspired family, friends and acquaintances during her 2 1/2-year battle against cancer. Throughout the fight, she has remained upbeat and has shared her thoughts by way of a blog. 

In Loving Memory

Leah Catherine Ploutz, 34, of Portsmouth, Rhode Island passed on to her spiritual life on Monday March 23, 2015 after a heroic 2 ½ year battle with colon cancer. She was a beloved mother to Elleanah (Elly), age 6, and Drew, age 3, and wife to Bryan David Ploutz. Leah is also survived by her parents Catherine Lindsey Braman and Ret. Col. James Easton Braman, and brothers Benjamin James Braman, Daniel Patrick Braman, sister Maria Linda Braman, and stepmother Teresa Ann Braman of Tucson Arizona, numerous cousins, and large extended family.

Leah was born in Newport, RI and was raised in Tucson, Arizona. Leah lived with cousins and worked in RI during the summer.  She graduated from Mountain View High school in Tucson in 1998 and earned her Bachelor's degree in Marketing and Business from Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff in 2001. Leah moved back to Rhode Island and worked as a financial analyst at SEA Corp in Middletown, RI. She earned her Master's degree in Human Resources from Salve Regina University in Newport.

Leah lived a vibrant and active life. She enjoyed time outdoors, played soccer and volleyball, was an avid runner, passionate photographer and loved to bake. She was an inspiration to her friends, and an indomitable spirit who cared for everyone she knew.  Leah will be deeply missed.

While Leah and her family are members of the Fall River Church of Christ, a one hour memorial service followed by a reception and celebration of her life will be held on Friday March 27 from 10:30am to 2pm at The Atlantic Beach Club, 55 Purgatory Road, Middletown, RI with overflow parking at Easton’s Beach.

Calling hours will be held Thursday March 26 from 4pm to 8pm at O’Neil-Hayes Funeral Home, 465 Spring Street, Newport, RI. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Elleanah and Drew Ploutz Trust Fund.

Checks made out to
Elleanah and Drew Ploutz Trust Fund
and mailed to:
151 Carriage Drive
Portsmouth, RI 02871


We are out of words to describe the loss we are feeling, but deeply appreciate all the kind words we receive during this difficult time.

Update March 23rd

Leah thanks everyone for the food, flowers, prayers, and support she has received.  She continues to demonstrate incredible grace in this most difficult time of her life.  Leah's pain is under control and the Hospice nurses visit daily to make any adjustments needed for her comfort.  Within the past month, since Leah came home from the hospital, she enjoyed visiting with friends and family.  Leah has now requested to have only family surrounding her.  She rallied on Saturday to enjoy a special gathering of her cousins at her home.  They watched a slide show of hundreds of pictures that captured everyday events and special moments throughout Leah's life with her cousins and other family members.  Leah's husband Bryan, with the help of their friend Sherri spent hours collecting and organizing family pictures and courtesy of Linda Keith produced a slide show with music.  During the gathering Bryan read a letter to Leah, sharing many of the sweet memories he has from the time they met eleven years ago, to their children, and the inexplicable journey dealing with cancer.

Today Leah was able to share her story by having it published in the Newport Daily News.

Even now, during her brief periods of wakefulness, Leah is focused on others, apologizing to her caretakers for inconveniences, remembering birthday gifts she has intended to give others and as only a mother could the needs of her children.

The meadow and the golf cart

My neighbors got together and got some plowing, shoveling, and who knows what else done to make this happen.  There is a little forest area near my house where I love to walk and it is gorgeous no matter what season, with snow, fallen leaves, summer sun and grass or spring flowers.  I thought I'd never make it out to this area again to walk because it is too far from the street and too hard to get there on foot.  My feet are so swollen and and of course it isn't  wheel chair accessible.  So all these things were put into place so I could take a golf cart ride to my favorite area and sit and soak up the sun for a while with some good friends (my mom took the photo). Thanks to everyone who helped make this happen!

Wheel chairs and strollers

So I have succumbed to the fact that If I want to go for a walk I need to have someone push me in a wheel chair.  I have also realized what babies have been withholding from us and how much of a treat it is is to be pampered and pushed around (in a good way).  I feel like, how can they possibly get a free walk and not say, "thank you!"

It's like the beginning of regression for me so it brought tears to my eyes to sit in the wheelchair.  I feel myself getting weaker and weaker and needing help with more and more.  I get out of breath really easily!  Everything takes so much effort and is so much more work.  The pain is manageable so that is good.  I have started getting drained every day and this is done at home and helps tremendously with being able to breath better and be able to eat because the drainage makes for more room for everything.  I am so glad I got the drain put in when I did, the process is pretty much painless and is over in 20 mins instead of having to go to the hospital to get everything done.

I try to visit with people when I can but I am exhausted and I have a lot of apt with nurses and occupational therapists.

I also have oxygen at home so I can use that when I need to which I think is also helpful.

measurements of time..

I  used to measure time by knowing the distance between my treatment appointments.  But now there are no treatment appointments.  It used to be this week was Mass General Hospital and next week a week off.

The talk with my eldest child went as well as expected over the weekend.  The gist she got out of it was that some people get sick with cancer and get cured and some die because the medicine doesn't work anymore.   I know we got through to her, shes 6, so it's a little easier.  My youngest is 3.5 so I am not sure what he grasps.  But I feel as though we did an adequate job and that we said what needed to be said for now.  My daughter brings it up a lot on her own to talk about and not in a sad way, so thats good.  Now it's this battle of measurement in time that is all unknown.

I would like to give more frequent updates but the pain medicine I'm taking effects my vision and also my thought process.   The pain is a constant battle to keep under control, and at the same time manage my grogginess and be able to  spend time with my friends and family.

I'm Home

Discharge went as planned yesterday and I was home by late afternoon.  I am working with the visiting nurse to figure out a new schedule for the pain medicine and and figuring out how to get comfortable in my new bed.  I did have a good night last night which was my goal, so I'm happy about that.  I spent the evening visiting with family.

Happy Sad

I am happy to say that I am going home today baring any unforeseen circumstances that prevent me from being discharged around 1:00 PM today.  I can't wait to be home, even though I will not be sleeping in my own bed.  Hospice has delivered a bed for me.  Our plan is to have an honest talk with our children this weekend, or in the near future, and that will be the most difficult thing.  

On Wednesday they drained 2.5 liters and put in a semi permanent drain. Thursday I had the  Celiac Plexus Block procedure.  They do not use general anesthisa for either procedures so I was awake the whole time.   Both procedures were very painful, and I won't be doing that again.

The goal is to keep me comfortable, which doesn't sound like a bad one, does it?  I feel like my pain is under control, whether that is attributed to the drugs or the procedures, I will take it.

Update February 18th

Today at 5:00 I will have paracentesis, draining of the fluid, and they will put in a PleurX drain if they believe that will be helpful.  I am on the list for the Celiac Plexus Block tomorrow.  My pain has increased even with the increase in IV pain medication they have used to try to manage it.  I am hoping these procedures will help alleviate some of the pain.

It is very difficult for me to make blog entries between the pain, and the effects of the pain medication.  My mom will be helping me make the entries for now.  I am hopeful we will get the pain under control and I will be home by this weekend with my family.  Thank you for all your supportive messages on my blog, texts, and emails.  My mom reads them to me when I can't read them myself.

procedures and pain management

after being drained one since Ive been here, and it not being the most pleasant of experiences they were going to try to minimize the pain by the idea of my next drainage being involved with a semi permanent procedure where they would install a semi permanent drain to allow for me to drain myself when needed instead of coming to the  hospital every time for the procedure of being stuck with a needle.  

The other procedure they are considering is the Celiac Plexus Block.  It would block the nerve messages going into the liver.  Much of the pain I am experiencing is from referred pain from my liver to other parts of my body such as my back.  If I am a candidate for this procedure, it could reduce my pain and therefore I would be able to decrease the IV and oral pain medications that make me so  drowzy.  If I am a candidate, they will do this procedure on Wednesday.  

Over the past week while I have been here in the hospital I have met with the oncologist team on staff here, the trial team doctor and nurse, and the palliative care team.  The oncologists have offered treatment, it would be a combination of the two chemo treatments I have had in the past.  Because I have had such severe side effects to both treatments, they would expect me to be hospitalized for a week after each treatment.  They also admitted in my compromised condition, the treatment may do me more harm than good, and I may not get out of the hospital and come home again.  All of the medical team members involved support my decision to get the pain under control and go home and spend time with my family.  They all support that chemo is not the best option and to see if we can do the above procedures and make me comfortable at home.  The earliest I think I would be going home is Thursday best case scenario.

Thanks for all of your texts, emails, and support.  It means a great deal to me especially at this time.

I beleive in you, Leah

Hi Everyone,

I'm Leah's friend Kim. I don’t mean to take away from Leah’s post below (please read that first), but I need to advocate for her while she’s processing this difficult news and going through so much. She needs an outpouring of love and support right now, and I know it will mean so much to her if you are able to show your support in a way that you feel comfortable.

I think it takes a lot of guts for Leah to write personal news and emotions so publicly on this blog for all to read. I couldn’t do that – even commenting a sentence or two on her blog so publicly can be difficult, as I know it is for some. So I got permission to share her email address: leahinnewport@hotmail.com and mailing address: 151 Carriage Drive, Portsmouth, RI 02871

If you find it on your heart to reach out to her, I hope you do in some way. Whenever you feel that pull is the right time. Though she will be able to read everything that is sent to her, she will almost certainly be unable to respond because she will be heavily medicated and cannot focus to write (writing her blog post was extremely difficult for this reason). But please know that each sign of positive support will work it’s way to filling her heart and will be much appreciated.

So I’m going to take a page from Leah’s brave book and post part of an email I wrote to her 2 days ago:

There's nothing I can do to change the news, but I want to remind you of my support and love for you.
I don't ever want you to feel despair, so that's why I want to write you and tell you wonderful things because you are wonderful and deserve to hear and feel lots and lots of good things.

You are an amazing person. You have a positive effect on anyone you meet. Sharing your story has touched so many people - I know you know this.
I can't hear the word "grace" and not think of you. You are the most thoughtful person I've ever met.
You are a fantastic mother. You are the best of best friends. I know from seeing the love in the eyes of those who love you that they got lucky because you are their daughter, sister, cousin, wife, etc.
 
It's not a coincidence that you are so remarkable at all these things. I think it's because you have a strong inner core. Perhaps another word for inner core is "soul". I'm sure you’ve had to call upon this inner strength many times during your life. I imagine through each hardship (though you may not have realized it) you built upon your inner core and made a strong foundation. This has made you the wonderful amazing person you are today. I think people see this shining through and can't help but admire.
I want you to know I am one of the admirers and I believe in you. Let your soul guide you, because it is very wise and good.

heavy heart

I was admitted to Mass General Hospital Monday by ambulance, from Newport.  It was believed to be a heart attack of some sort, caused by the trial drugs, but that since has been all  resolved and they are back to focusing on the cancer.  Scans they did focusing on the mild heart attach revealed significat growth in my liver which is very enlarged and increased tumors growth, and is causing me a great deal of pain.  They finally drarined off 1 liter of fluid from my adomen which did not prove to be of much increased comfort.

This is all after spending 24 hours in the ER at Mass General, before being admitted to a very nice room.  At this point I still need to have one more meeting with my oncologist but it is my understanding, that I have very limited options.  I have been kicked off the trial due to the tumors growth.  Of course chemo always seems to be something they offer but nothing is changing, the fight is still the same.  The fight for me is to enjoy quality of life.

At this time they are working on pain management, as I am in a lot of pain.  I will not be released from the hospital until they believe my pain can be managed at home.  The goal at this time is to focus on being comfortable one day at a time.

Not doing good

Since I've been home from Tucson I haven't been feeling good.  I have a bloated belly which makes me think fluid although I don't have those symptoms but I'm realizing perhaps the fluid is just located higher and therefore giving me different symptoms like pressure on my chest and back to the point where I can't lay down or sleep.  It doesn't go away when I'm standing it's just worse laying down.

I have my treatment Wednesday but would like to see someone before then.

Sun finally

They had some unusual weather here in Tucson, it rained for 2 days but now the sun is out!  I need to be careful of my rash on my face being exposed but plan to spend some time in the sun.  I hadn't felt very good the past couple of days but I'm hoping that's behind me and I'm just glad I'm not in the snow storm they are getting back in RI!

On my way

I received treatment yesterday and I'm on my way to Tucson!

Blizzard

So this blizzard we are having is causing me all sorts of problems.  We are expected to get about 2 feet of snow.  My treatment was originally scheduled for Tuesday but because of the storm we had to change it to Wednesday.   Depending how much snow we get and Boston gets we might not be able to make it there on Wednesday.  This means that I then cannot leave on my flight Thursday (if my flight is even still existent and leaving as scheduled).  So wish us luck with all this snow, but if this is the biggest of my problems right now I think I'm doing pretty well :)

Are things Taking a turn?

I have had some really good days lately.  I found myself actually feeling like a normal person.  I usually need help running simple errands where I don't feel well enough to drive myself but this weekend I even did errands alone.  I went to church and really enjoyed seeing everyone and was able to go with the kids to a birthday party amongst other things.  I saw someone running this weekend and thought to myself maybe that will be me some day if this good streak continues.

I am heading to AZ in a little over a week and I hope I feel this good to travel.  I really hope things have taken a turn for the better I could really get used to this!

Had a good one, finally

I prayed and prayed and finally feel like my prayers were answered, I had a good day today!  I had a great night's sleep.  I also went for a walk, did yoga and was able to do one of my favorite things, bake and even do it with my kiddos.  I Had a good day and just wanted to share that!  They are rare these days, in fact I can't remember the last time I felt this way!