I just received a card from one of my cousins who doesn't live close enough to just stop by to see me and give me a hug. The card itself was very sweet, but She wrote on the card "there were no cards that said what I wanted, but I think it is because words are not what I want to send. I want to send all the love and positive energy I can to help you continue to stay strong. You are amazing, courageous, strong and resilient. I pray you can keep your head high and your spirit light." Lindsey Pettus
Thank you Lindsey, I keep crying every time I read your card. I know that wasn't your intention but I feel the love! I think the reason this struck my heart so much is because that is what everyone says, "I don't know what to say" and I totally understand that, I don't know what to say either. Lindsey brings up the point that words aren't enough, it's everything else, the love and the positive energy that matters.
My brother has also been amazing, he doesn't have children of his own but he is amazing with my children. Ben could get paid to get kids to eat their vegetables at dinner time, he really is impressive, it is probably cause he's a vegan :) or wait, is it cause he's my brother? Either way, I don't want him to leave.
I have been pretty miserable lately, I am nauseous, my stomach hurts when I eat, it hurts when I don't, and juicing is almost impossible because it just wants to come back up. I change my mind daily of whether or not I'm going through with chemo. I am too sick to eat well enough to feel I am treating the cancer with vegetables so I decide to do chemo. Then I think no I will get better, I can do this without chemo, and yet I don't feel better. I have lost 10 lbs and that is with continuing to retain fluid, so that is not good.
Anyway, enough of that, this week in RI has been absolutely gorgeous and I have enjoyed sitting outside and going for walks when I feel I can, love that sunshine!
Hi Leah...it was so nice to get to talk to you the other day and to meet so many of your family members. You have a wonderful family! Still praying for guidance for you...such hard decisions to make. You are so loved by so many. You are so loved by your heavenly Father. May He be your strength as you go forward. Jan
ReplyDeleteLeah - I feel the same way Lindsey does. There are no words. I'm constantly sending positive thoughts and prayers to you, Bry and those darling kids. Your "Ploutz Power" bracelet goes with everything I wear :-). This should not be happening to you...for a plethora of reasons. You are most definitely the healthiest person I've ever known. I cant even imagine what you are going through right now but if nothing else, please know you are not alone. God is on your side, your family is with you, your friends are near and far and there are hundreds of people reading your blog. I shared your story with my wonderful coworkers and you are now on countless prayer lists here in Pennsylvania, not to mention on their minds. Your blog is beautiful. I cant tell you how many people have either emailed, called or stopped me in the hall to say how beautiful your story is, how courageous a person you are...how strong a person you are, physically, mentally and spiritually. You have touched the lives of many. Everyone is praying for a miracle. Keep up your juicing...no matter if you get a sip or a chug in, it's something. Maybe try some frozen banana ice cream? Delish! Rest up too, that's important. I dont want to leave this page but I'm pretty sure you said you start chemo today. Hoping and praying that went well and you didnt have any difficulty. I wish I could say more, I wish I could do more. I love you Leah!
ReplyDeleteLeah, I totally agree with your cousin.. I want to send a hug everyday when I think of you! Know we are all on your side and if there is ever anything I can do please let me know. Love, Brenna
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