I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. He had a preliminary on my pathology report. The cancer was only in the left ovary. They were not able to tell if it got to the ovary through the blood or through being next to my colon where the tumor was. Basically it sounds like the 6 months of chemo I did, did not work because it grew on the ovary during treatment. He gave me three options.
1. do NO more chemo and do scans every few months to monitor and check for growth
2. do the chemo bath. This would be done laproscopically where they would put chemo inside my abdomen and heat it to 110 degrees. This would hopefully take care of any other cancer that is inside my abdomen. I believe this idea is based on the theory that the cancer was able to metastasize on the ovary by being in close proximity to the original tumor and not travel through the blood. I have an appointment next week to meet with the surgeon who performs this and find out side effects and exactly how it is performed.
3. do another 6 months of a different chemo. It would be the same routine of every 2 weeks, 12 times. It also involves a pump that would be on for 2 days after the IV treatment.
4. Do both option 2 and 3.
I am sitting in the Drs office with complete neuropathy in my hands and feet. It is no longer just my finger tips that are numb, it's my entire hands. When I extend my arms out the tingling goes down my arms and engulfs my entire limb. My feet feel like leather on the bottom. Even though they have a numb feeling, they hurt as well and are sensitive to touch. I am sore from my incisions where I was just cut open 3 days ago. I am still tired all the time and can't believe that 9 months after finding the tumor in my colon and going through two surgeries, the Dr is talking to me about cutting me open AGAIN and going through chemo AGAIN. My son is almost 2 and I have spent over a quarter of his life consumed by this awful cancer. It has taken over my life and kept me in bed, filled my thoughts and consumed my time. It is taking away from what I can offer my children, and this nightmare is not anywhere close to being over.
Oh Leah ... I'm so sorry that this is continuing to drag on, and drag you down. I wish we could all just wish this away for you! Please know that, whatever you decide to do, there is an army of people here to love you and support you.
ReplyDeleteWow Leah, so very sorry to hear of all you're going through. Yes, this has been too, too long.... I am continuing to lift you up in prayer. I'm really praying for a miracle, and that it will all go away even the neuropathy and you would still have time to enjoy your beautiful children and watch them grow up. HE is ABLE!! 2Cor.12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
ReplyDeleteLily C.
Hi Leah...for some reason I can now post, as the site has not let me before....I just want to say that you are AMAZING, and so strong...your kids are lucky they have such a strong mom, despite what you and they are going through. Keeping you and Bryan in thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteps...does your oncologist or hospital have any type of cancer patient advocate service that advises you or helps you navigate through all those opinions? It has to be overwhelming, especially when you are not feeling well!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Leah,
ReplyDeleteIt is easy for me to say "stay strong" because I am not feeling the awful emotional and physical reactions that you are.
You will get over this next hurdle, Leah, just not in the time frame that is acceptable to you, your family, your friends and every stranger that is pulling for you. I understand you want this done, NOW.
Sending every healing thought imaginable to you.
Dear Leah,
ReplyDeleteYou are loved and your children have received a blessing in having you for a mother! Do not despair, trust in the Lord and do what is right for you.
Sending prayers for peace and healing.
Leah,
ReplyDeleteI will not pretend to have ANY idea what you are going through in a physical/emotional sense in regards to the cancer...I can only imagine. But, I CAN relate to being a mama with two young children (pretty much the exact same ages as your beautiful littles) and just know that even though you may not feel as if you have been able to spend the quality time with them that you wish you could, you are giving them the intangible gift of the most amazing roll model they could ever ask for. Your strength, faith, positive attitude, and kind ways will sustain them long into their adulthood and will serve as a model for them one day when they have their own children. One day, you will no doubt hold your own grandchildren and your kids will look at you with tremendous pride in being able to call you "mom". To your kids, you are, always have been, and always will be, a super-hero. Keep your face to the sunshine my dear friend. We are all holding you up...
Jessie
Stay strong Leah, you can beat this monster because you have so many nice people in your corner pulling for you. Harve
ReplyDelete“Believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.”
ReplyDelete― Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Leah, i believe and have faith what God hears all our prayers. We all love you so much, and are here for you in any way we can. Jessie phrased it perfectly, your children pretty much have wonder woman as their mother. You are such a blessing and pride to all of us. Hang in there my friend, an if you feel you cant need to take a break, let us know, like Jessie said "we are all holding you up" our love is strong enough
I jus pray for God's grace to guide you through such tremendous decisions and an army of Angels to beat the crap outta those c cells...love you...lemeno what I can do plz Colleen
ReplyDelete