it's been a while

I had a friend visiting and she was telling me how she's missed my blog posts.  I think I feel like I really only have complaints to file lately so I don't want to be negative on here.  I did realize however that I could reword them as prayer requests of things I am struggling with. 

Here are some of my struggles:

I have developed painful scar tissue with 4 of my 5 incisions from the ovary surgery.  The weird thing is that my incisions are right next to the ones from my first surgery and yet I had no scar tissue develop from those, at least none that are causing me daily problems.  It is hard to sleep at night because I have them on each side of me.  It's also starting to be painful to pick up the kids and put them on my hip.  I have spoken with my surgeon and I brought up the point that maybe having chemo after the first surgery effected how I healed and that is why I am healing different with this last surgery.  There isn't anything they can do for me, but I am going to try massage to see if it helps.

I am still napping every day.  My only issue with this is that it makes me nervous about returning to work in September.  My return to work date is Sept 18.  This is the week following my retreat in Atlanta.  I am anxious about work, that I will be mentally exhausted and not be able to handle it.  I am starting off with only 12 hours a week so it shouldn't be too bad.  I do want to go back and I miss it, but I am nervous about it exhausting me.  I figure if i can handle 7 days a week with the kids I can probably handle working!

Now for some things I'm grateful for:


I have managed to run regularly still.  I have had some gracious offers from people to watch the kids for me to allow me to run.  I still struggle with running, I don't necessarily enjoy it, I am very slow and it is hard for me but it proves to be a great work out to get that oxygen flowing.

I have enjoyed spending so much time with the kids.   I did find myself today however, sitting in the car alone, eating a chocolate vegan cupcake.  The kids were with the sitter and I had spent my free time running and cleaning the house and napping.  I had timed it so i had enough time to stop at the bakery that makes these cupcakes and shove one in my mouth and still get to them on time to pick them up.  And it was a delicious, amazing 30 seconds of chocolate heaven! 

I recently watched another video that promotes the diet I am on.  It was a good refresher to tell myself why I am not eating meat and dairy.  I am so looking forward to the retreat in September and I can't wait to learn from it.  I have finally started baking again, of my favorite things to do.  The best part about vegan baking is you can lick the batter and not worry about salmonella!

The GI Dr just called me and told me that they did biopsies on parts of my colon when they did the colonoscopy and everything came back negative.  He said to keep doing whatever I'm doing!

I finally switched vendors for the cancer warrior t-shirts and I think it will go smoothly from here.  I am going to place an order tomorrow and will let you all know when they arrive.  They will be $15 a piece.

I also received this from my mom recently.  If you click on the link it is an interesting article about how to handle illness or something similar with friends and family.  I found it really interesting and thought I should share http://articles.latimes.com/print/2013/apr/07/opinion/la-oe-0407-silk-ring-theory-20130407

I am also thankful for my husband and his amazing garden in our back yard.  I literally walk out the door and pick kale and beets for my juicing, it's great!