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Monday, March 2, 2015

measurements of time..

I  used to measure time by knowing the distance between my treatment appointments.  But now there are no treatment appointments.  It used to be this week was Mass General Hospital and next week a week off.

The talk with my eldest child went as well as expected over the weekend.  The gist she got out of it was that some people get sick with cancer and get cured and some die because the medicine doesn't work anymore.   I know we got through to her, shes 6, so it's a little easier.  My youngest is 3.5 so I am not sure what he grasps.  But I feel as though we did an adequate job and that we said what needed to be said for now.  My daughter brings it up a lot on her own to talk about and not in a sad way, so thats good.  Now it's this battle of measurement in time that is all unknown.

I would like to give more frequent updates but the pain medicine I'm taking effects my vision and also my thought process.   The pain is a constant battle to keep under control, and at the same time manage my grogginess and be able to  spend time with my friends and family.

15 comments:

  1. Leah,

    Do what you can, when you feel like you can and know always that we will wait patiently, listening for the next time you feel like "talking". I hope your day is pain free and that you find the time to spend it with people you love.

    /s

    Danh

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  2. The most important thing is for you to be able to spend time with your family. As Dan stated above so eloquently we all understand you need this time with your loved ones. I am so happy that the discussion with daughter went well. It is a difficult situation no matter what age so have peace within you that she understands what she needs to know right now.

    You are in my prayers and thoughts each day.

    Nancy


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  3. Leah- You, Bryan, and the kids are in our thoughts. I saw Bryan and the kids over the summer at a party, they are beautiful, smart, well-mannered children. You are an amazing mom. You are so strong and brave to articulate your story with everyone the way that you have. We will continue to think and pray for your healing and comfort.

    Kate Magee Varela

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  4. Leah - I pray for you and your family. Time is just that - time. I hope you have time with your family. You are all amazing and lovely. God Bless you Leah! Thank you for sharing your time with all of us on this blog. You have taught us all more than you will ever know.

    Love, Doreen

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  5. Leah Peah,
    Don't worry about anything but loving your family and allowing them to love you. You are in my thoughts each and every day. I hope peace finds you.
    Love, Missy

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  6. praying for you and your family...

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  7. Hi Leah,

    Thanks for the update. Of course all of us out "here" are anxiously awaiting posts to see how you are doing. But, like others have mentioned, nothing, NOTHING is more important than your family and doing what you need to do when you need to do it.

    I messaged Deedee today, so she and I are going to come up with something for you! I will be sending you something to help with pain, unless her friend already has what I wanted for you. I hope it works, God how I hope it works for you. We are expecting more snow tomorrow here in Fort Collins/Loveland. The kids love to sled, so it will be fun for their sitter to take them. :) Sending you warm, snuggly thoughts on a crisp evening!
    -Ande

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  8. Hi Leah,

    I'm thankful for the wisdom our heavenly Father has given to you and Bryan in talking with Elly and Drew. I also have joy in my heart over the way you shine for Jesus. May God bless every moment of time you have with your family and friends.

    You are in my heart and prayers,

    I Love You Sister,

    Mike M.

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  9. Praying for peace and no pain. Love you Leah. You are the strongest person I know and I am thankful the talks with the kids went well.

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  10. So glad you posted Leah! it's always good to see what's on your mind and how you are feeling. Can't imagine how difficult your talk with the kids was but I am hopeful God was with you helping you through. Prayers are flowing your way constantly and we are sending many wishes for pain control. We love you!

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  11. Good to hear from you Leah and happy to hear the chat with your kiddos went as good as it could have. As Doreen says above you have taught us so much you'll never know. Thanks for being so brave through all this and inviting us to be here with you. Hope you're having a good comfortable day and I'm thinking of you often. DaveL

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  12. We are all thinking of you Leah and hope you are as comfortable as possible. Your strong spirit has touched many lives and you are a wonderful person, wife, mom, daughter, sister, neighbor and friend and loved by many. Hopefully you have peace and happiness in knowing that. Be proud of who your are and what you have done and know you have accomplished more than many. We have all learned from you to enjoy the present as the future is never guaranteed.. Thank-you for that. All our love, The Colmans

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  13. Leah,
    I hope that you are continuing to manage the pain and be as comfortable as possible. My thoughts are with you every day and with your family, especially your wonderful mom, who I love so much.
    I hope that you are able to enjoy whatever time you have with the people that you care about and that care about you. Time is just that....time...it is relative...and we only know how to measure it in our short lifetimes in this life. But I truly believe that it is actually immeasurable. We all eventually leave this time and space, but move on to another one.
    I hope that you know what great a gift you have given to those of us who have been able to know you personally or through your blog. You opened your heart and soul on these pages. Shared your triumphs and setbacks. You have never been anything more than open and honest and always in the most gracious of manners. You have taught us how to be strong, become informed, make important decisions and be in charge of the time that we have. You have shared pictures of yourself and your beautiful family. And you, dear Leah are, and will always be, beautiful. And your physical beauty that you possess will never hold a candle to the beauty of your spirit that will live on.
    Thank you for teaching me to appreciate time, to appreciate the small things that are often not noticed. And most of all teaching me to love and appreciate the people that mean so much to me.
    May you have peace.

    Missy

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  14. Thinking of you and your family….

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  15. Dear Leah, you have made such a difference to so many people for all the things that Missy wrote about so eloquently. You and your family are in my thoughts often during each day, and when those thoughts are front and center, I find that my courage-factor is always replenished by being reminded of the courage you've shown. Among many other things, thank you for that gift. I hope today is a comfortable day for you, absent of pain. Linn

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